Time...

I've never had so much time on my hands. It's never been this quiet in my life. I've never had so much time to think myself crazy...or sane. :) I've needed this quiet for a long time. To gain perspective, to listen, to finally understand what it means to be still. It hurts sometimes to be still, doesn't it? Like, we can't slow down unless we're forced to. And when we do, we just think about a lot and realize a lot about ourselves, about others and about this life and what matters and what doesn't, and it makes my brain hurt. And I cry a lot. I've laughed and smiled a lot too though. But I've never laughed so much alone...if you saw me, you'd probably think I was crazy. But really, I think crazy is not taking the the time to laugh alone, at yourself, at your weaknesses and mistakes, at stupidity and all the things we get so caught up in that just don't matter all that much. Take time to laugh until you cry...just you and God.

Here are a couple things that I've learned and have really stood out to me. Isn't it funny how you could hear something over and over or even teach it to someone else and God chooses the exact moment that it becomes truth to you and pierces your heart?

In Genesis 1.28 it says for the first time that God said "TO" them(man and woman)..."
It is the first time that God speaks TO his creation rather that just at it. God gave counsel and direction to the man and woman even when things were still perfect, even when everything was still how it should be. God spoke to them and gave them counsel, not because things weren't perfect, but because he created man to be dependent on Him. We always run to God to fill and fix but we rarely ask for His guidance when all seems right with our world. We don't need Him because we have a lack of something, we need him to function correctly even before we are broken.

All sin struggles are generational or situational. Sons and daughters are affected by their surroundings and the ways they are raised. They will see that as normal and grow up in that only to take on those habits, fears, and unhealthy traits. Or we are affected by something traumatic and react to it. Until we reach a certain age where we begin to realize that it's not normal, it's not healthy, and we begin to struggle with knowing that truth. At that point, as soon as we realize our struggle, our sin area or our tendency to fall, that is the moment we can no longer blame other people, our parents, our circumstances, or our lack of something. Once you are taught the truth and your eyes are opened, it is then your choice whether to learn the truth and walk in it or choose to stay where you are, miserable and blaming others. A friend gave me a great analogy for this...
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, but it wasn't until almost a hundred years later that someone was bold enough, Martin Luther King, to begin to walk in that truth and assume him rights as a free man.
(Dut. 5.8-10 & Eph. 2.1-5 & 5.8-14)